Bathroom vocabulary

Also called Toileting vocabulary, Personal care words, Bathroom set

Toilet, wash, private, help, stop: the words a person must be able to say without embarrassment, and the ones that make intimate care done with them.

What it is

Bathroom vocabulary is the words for toileting, washing and personal care: toilet, wee, poo, wipe, wash, bath, shower, teeth, hair, towel, finished, private, door, help, stop, cold, hurts. It is the vocabulary of the most intimate part of anyone's day and the part most often done in silence, by someone else, on a schedule.

Everyone needs these words, and almost every board treats them as an afterthought, with a single toilet card and nothing for "not yet", "I need privacy" or "that hurt".

Who it can help

Everyone who receives support with personal care, at any age. It is crucial for children learning toileting, for adults with a learning disability supported by staff, for people in hospital or a care home, and for anyone whose care is delivered by a changing rota. A person who can say "stop", "gentle", "cold" and "private" during personal care has a measure of control that a person who cannot has been denied.

It is also a safeguarding vocabulary. "Hurt", "no", "who" and the names of staff (see people vocabulary) are how a person tells someone that care has gone wrong. That is why the words must be there before they are needed, and why they must be treated as ordinary words and not as rude ones.

How it works

A bathroom set carries the nouns (toilet, bath, shower, sink, towel, soap, toothbrush, pad), the actions (wee, poo, wash, wipe, brush, dry, change) and the control words (help, stop, wait, gentle, private, finished, cold, hot, hurts, more). The control words are the ones that matter most and the ones most often missing.

The words need to be pressable with wet hands and in a hurry, which is a case for a laminated paper card on the bathroom wall as a low-tech backup to any device, and for the device itself to be kept dry and within reach rather than left in the other room.

The Talk board has a bathroom set among its 14, with the room's words in one place, and the needs and describing cards cover "help", "stop" and "cold" from any set.

Getting started

Put a paper bathroom board on the wall this week, at the person's eye height from the toilet and from the bath. Include "stop", "help", "wait", "private" and "finished" as well as the nouns.

Narrate personal care on the board before each step: "wash" then "hair", "wipe" now, "finished". Ask before you touch, with the board, and honour "wait" and "stop" every time you possibly can. A person who learns that "stop" works in the bathroom will use it everywhere it matters.

Treat "wee" and "poo" as plain words. The person needs them, and any embarrassment is the adult's to manage.

Where to get help

Mencap and Scope advise families and carers on personal care and dignity. Communication Matters for AAC. For continence, the NHS route is your GP or health visitor, who can refer to a continence service; see bladder and bowel incontinence in the Health A-Z. Care standards for registered services are set by the Care Quality Commission.