Commenting rather than questioning

Also called Comments not questions, Fewer questions, Testing questions

A question is a test with a right answer. A comment is an invitation with none. Count your questions for an hour and you'll see the problem.

What it is

Commenting rather than questioning is the habit of saying something about what's happening instead of asking the person something about it. "That's a big dog" instead of "What's that?". "Cold today" instead of "Is it cold?". "You've finished" instead of "Have you finished?".

Adults talking to people with limited language ask a startling number of questions, and most of them are tests: the adult already knows the answer and is checking whether the person does. "What colour is it?" "Where's the cat?" "What do you say?" Each one puts the person on the spot, and each one has a right answer, which means a wrong one.

Who it can help

Anyone learning to communicate, at any age, and especially people who have learned that talking to adults means being quizzed. Autistic people, people with a learning disability, children with developmental language disorder and people with aphasia all tend to talk more when they're asked less.

It doesn't mean never asking. Real questions, where you genuinely don't know the answer and want to, are conversation. It's the testing questions that need cutting, and the ratio that most therapists suggest is roughly four comments to every question.

How it works

A comment does three things a test question can't. It models language without demanding any back, so it's modelling without expectation in speech. It shares your attention with the person's, which builds joint attention. And it leaves an open space, which the person can fill with anything, or with nothing, and either is fine.

Questions, by contrast, narrow the possible replies to one, usually a noun. A person answering "What's that?" all day learns nouns and learns that communicating means labelling. A person hearing "That's going fast" and "I don't like that one" hears verbs, describing words and opinions, which is the vocabulary conversation is made of.

For AAC users the difference is stark. A device full of nouns answers questions; a device with core words makes comments. Partners who comment teach the person to comment.

Getting started

Record yourself for ten minutes with the person, on your phone. Count the questions. Most people are shocked.

Turn each test question into a statement. "What's that?" becomes "Look, a bus". "What do you want?" becomes "I wonder what you'd like", with a choice shown. "Say thank you" becomes you saying thank you and moving on.

Model comments on the person's system. The Talk board has a sentence starters set and feelings cards: touch I LIKE and a feeling card, and you've made a comment they can copy or not.

Where to get help

Most NHS parent-child interaction courses teach this directly, and your health visitor or speech and language therapist can refer you. Speech and Language UK publishes free tips for families that put commenting near the top. Afasic runs a parent helpline. For adults with aphasia, the Stroke Association has guidance on supported conversation that says much the same thing.